Oh, The Places You’ll Go

Two years ago, I thought I was celebrating my first Mother’s Day of many, and then I had a miscarriage 8 days later. I wasn’t out of the first trimester and I’ve since learned that it’s fairly common for women to lose their first pregnancy with it often occurring before they even know they’re pregnant. It’s like the body says, “What is this new thing? No thank you” and rejects it. A majority of women who experience this spontaneous early miscarriage with their first pregnancy go on to have successful, issue free pregnancies. Thankful this is thus far the case for me. Mother’s Day welcomes in week 30 of this pregnancy. The past month has been full of changes both emotionally and physically, as well as in my relationships with my boyfriend and my family.

I was admitted to a high risk NICU hospital for a possible stroke on the 25th last month. I was at work and started feeling really weird. My eyes got really sensitive and I couldn’t focus on what I was seeing, I couldn’t form my words correctly or make my mouth say what my head wanted it to. I had some tingling and numbness in my hand and jaw. It was a really freaky incident and then I had a massive killer headache for the next 14 hours, including the whole time I was in the er at my local hospital and being transported to the high risk hospital. It wasn’t a stroke. The neurologists are calling it a complicated migraine episode. I have to see a neurologist once a month and they prescribed me some stuff to take should I feel one coming on again. I’ve had one episode since, but other than that I’ve been doing well. My OB has me taking magnesium and iron also. They aren’t super concerned about anything because all my vitals are good. My doctors said as long as my blood pressure is good and baby is fine the pregnancy should continue til full term. That’s really all that matters to me, that she’s okay. I will say I miss being hooked up to the monitor all the time and hearing her heartbeat. It was so reassuring to hear her and know that my baby girl is doing just fine.

This all happened at a really crazy time. My baby shower was the weekend after this, on May 5th. My grandpa and his wife were coming for the whole weekend. The 5th was also his 64th birthday so yay Grandpa! It was his wife’s first time coming to Florida and they went to the beach and we went out to dinner and it was just a lovely, but exhausting weekend. Let me tell you something about planning a party. At the end of the day, the party is happening whether you have every box checked or not. You’re going to forget things you meant to get, the food won’t always be finished as planned, everyone’s not going to show up and some people might be late. It’s just so many things that you can’t control. I put so much thought and sweat and tears and stress into the darn party for nothing. I made the theme watermelon since we were doing a coed barbecue. Pinks and light green were the color scheme with some watermelon things here and there. We made hamburgers and hotdogs, pulled pork, macaroni salad, potato salad, chips and french onion dip, spinach dip, watermelon, a veggie tray, and then his mom and I made red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing and vanilla cupcakes with french buttercream icing. Everyone had a great time, I had a great time. The gifts were all things that we needed, the food was great, the weather cooperated. It was lovely.

I haven’t gotten any pictures from the shower yet. His mom took all of them. I was so busy moving from one place to another and talking to people and just enjoying myself that I barely knew where my phone was half the time.

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Cute watermelon plates that we paired with additional pink and lime green dishes to keep the theme alive!
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One of my sisters gifts to us for my baby shower. I love nautical themes but it was so hard to find anything girly. All anchors and whales and stuff are usually darker blues for the boys so I asked her to make a girly whale for our little one coming in July. His daughter is going to be 9 this summer and loves mermaids so we went with a mermaid resembling her. I want to make sure she feels included in our family at all times, even though she only lives with us a couple months out of the year. 

The baby shower kind of made things seem more real. It’s one thing to be told for months that you’re going to become a parent. It’s something completely different to have other people asking you about how the nursery is coming along, if you have a name yet, if you have holiday plans, etc. I’ve been living next to a room with baby clothes and furniture in it for two months now but it still hasn’t seemed real. I feel her moving every day but I’ve just gotten used to them. I’m wondering if it will seem even more real when I start my weekly appointments. It’s like I’m going to have a baby in two months, but I still can’t accept that. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve had a miscarriage so I’m terrified of something happening in these last 10 weeks or maybe it’s because I’ve never gone through labor and stuff before so I don’t know what to expect. I really have no idea. I set up her closet with all her receiving blankets and soft fuzzy blankets. I washed everything and have all her size newborn to 3 months hanging up and folded in her dresser.

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The lighting sucks because it’s pouring outside and we need a new light bulb in the ceiling fan but here’s her closet so far. We’re not done shopping for clothes and stuff but this is the beginning.

The other sizes are folded in a little tote until she’s big enough to wear them. We have enough socks and towels and washcloths and they’re all put in their designated spot. His mom bought us our travel system, we went with the Graco Travel Modes with Snuglock 35 carseat. I absolutely love the stroller. I can face the baby either way in the carseat on it and in the actual seat part of the stroller, I can flip it to face me or to face out so even when she’s a toddler, if I want to have her facing me, I can. I’ll have to take pictures and show you guys once I get it out of the box. It’s currently just sitting in the middle of our kitchen because, unfortunately, we still haven’t gotten our cabinets or island yet. The designs are complete, it’s just getting them made and delivered. It’s taking a bit longer than expected because the family business got a bit busier and paying customers come first. All I know is the day we finally get rid of these raggedy old cabinets is going to be a day of rejoicing, and probably day drinking.

I’ve been giving so much thought to how much of each size she will need and everything. It’s taken a lot of reminding myself that she has everything she needs for when she comes. If we need anything else we can get it then. I’m too much of a planner. And it’s helping me distract myself while the time passes. Welllll, there’s a trillion other things on my mind but dinner calls and hubby will be home soon so maybe later. 🙂

Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms and I hope everyone is having a good weekend! (:

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Never-Ending Journey

I welcome myself into the sixth month of pregnancy. I’m actually in the last week of the sixth month, so here comes seven. I’ve finally started showing, but barely. It’s obvious when I look in the mirror after getting out of the shower, but with clothes on I just look fat. The baby belly definitely looks like a taco belly under clothes. I can’t wait to be obviously pregnant and people don’t debate whether to ask how far along I am on the off chance that I’m just larger and risk offending me. No surprise that I’m still tiny, I’ve gained about 6 pounds so far. Fine by me. I want the bump, not the fat. Less to lose after the baby comes.

The journey into motherhood has taken me to several destinations so far. First one being the joy in the color pink. I wouldn’t call myself a feminine person. I don’t really like pink, can’t stand most floral patterns, etc. I wasn’t a tutu wearing ballerina growing up and didn’t think I would want my daughter to be either. I was so wrong. Pink is fabulous. I don’t want people to ask “is it a girl or boy?” I want it to be obvious! She’s a fierce little lady. Before anyone gets their panties in a wad, the world these days is a “to each their own” kinda thing. My child will be raised as a female because she has a vagina and is medically a female from birth. My child will also be raised to accept how others want to live their life and not to judge people who believe things or feel ways that they don’t. Just because we prefer one way of living doesn’t mean we think all other ways shouldn’t exist.

The second destination was the world of bows! I had already fallen in love with Disney’s Minnie ear headbands and wanted to start a collection for myself, as well as matching ones for my step-daughter, who will be nine this summer. As my Minnie MagicBand states, we’re “all about the bows” and I just put in an order for the matching beach towel. They don’t make baby size Minnie ears though! Sooooo, I took to Facebook and found myself a couple groups, or rather families. The first is Little Lopers. It’s ran by one momma who makes the cutest bows! She does all different colors and styles and sizes. The website is http://www.littlelopers.com and so far we ordered pink mini headwrap for newborn, sassy dots in baby for when we take her to Disney, and groovy mini headwrap for newborn which is tie-dye and fantastic! I need to win the lottery just to buy all the bows! The other group I found is Olivia’s Bow Club which I found when searching for a bow subscription box. I love being able to buy something and not have to worry about continuing to order here and there. Every month three different color and style bows will be shipped to me and I can get matching headbands for me and clips for my other daughter as add-ons. Woohoo! Love it.

Here’s a referral link to Olivia’s Bow Club and a code to use to get your first month free! https://oliviasbowclub.com/?raf=ref0746709      code is: ref0746709

We are officially a bow family, and a pink family.

I feel like it’s all moving so fast, but so slow at the same time. My baby shower/barbecue is less than three weeks away now. We still have to order the plates and decorations from Walmart and Amazon which we’re doing this weekend and next weekend. The food is taken care of for the most part as we’ve been slowly accumulating things here and there. The shower is watermelon themed, with lots of bright or light pink and lime green. We’re doing pulled pork, macaroni salad, hamburgers, a smoked turkey, chips and dip, and loads of homemade cupcakes with food coloring, sprinkles and chocolate chips to make them look watermelony. I also found a straw beach hat to match the theme. It’s going to be adorable.

We have most of the stuff for the nursery taken care of. The crib, changing table/dresser, travel system (his parents), rocking chair (my grandpa). Still haven’t decided on a going home outfit for her, haven’t ordered the diaper bag yet, and I’m waiting a couple more weeks before I pack my hospital bag. Nursery decorations are in the works and I’ll finish buying clothes and diapers after I can take inventory from the shower. My due date is still 3 months away but it feels like it’s creeping up so quickly.

Our house is coming together nicely. It seems things are much slowly paced now. We have all the rooms except the guest bath painted. Some areas still need touched up and we’re procrastinating. Luckily, my “nesting” has turned into a form of extreme OCD and motivation. We got the pet closet built and my hallway closet is rearranged for all my cleaning supplies. I love all my cleaning stuff. We also have our stock pile area arranged with all the household supplies we’ve stocked up on from Sam’s Club and BJ’s the past couple months. The fence is finally put in and our husky loves it! We also got him a little sister, a German Shepherd/Husky/Retriever mix who is great at keeping him company and helping run his energy out.

Back to the guest bath. I found the cutest bathroom set that I’m getting and we picked out the paint to match. It’s under the sea themed so we’re doing a light blue color on all the walls and then my sister, who is super talented at drawing, is putting seaweed in a light green around the bottom. It’s going to be adorable and I can’t wait to see it finished which should be this weekend. The new smart mirror and a couple other things are being put up tomorrow so I can’t do too much until that’s all done.

Well, I think that’s most of what’s been going on. If anything else comes to mind I’ll be sure to make another post. I miss writing. I’ve been writing research papers for my class all semester but I find it so therapeutic to just get out all the goings ons of my day, or month.

Hope everyone else is doing well (:

Marching On

Hey everyone,

I’m 22 weeks as of tomorrow. Woohoo. Cheers to a thus far successful pregnancy. We found out it’s a girl, the name is all picked out. The nursery is halfway set up, with the crib coming at the end of the month. I finished designing the shower invitations today and will have those printed out soon. I did some research and they’re supposed to be sent out a month to two months before the shower. We decided on May 5th so as long as I have them out before the end of the month I’m what is considered “socially acceptable.” Not that I much care about that sort of thing but it would be nice to give everyone enough time to RSVP so I don’t end up with too much or not enough food.

Mark’s birthday was this month. We went to a little French restaurant with his parents for dinner. His mom loves escargot and I was forced to try it. I say forced because I hate trying anything on the spot. I’ve always thought snail would be slimy and disgusting but it was in a garlic butter sauce and actually had a nice texture. I probably wouldn’t order a dish for myself but I’ll take one of hers from now on. It was nice to have tried something new and discovered that I actually like it. It was a reminder not to judge things without giving them a chance.

I have to admit, it’s extremely hard to stay anti-pink once you find out you’re having a daughter. I’m still anti-ugly flower patterns but the pink stuff is getting cuter. Mostly because I don’t want people to ask me if it’s a boy or girl or assume that it’s a boy because then I’ll be pissed off and correct them probably too rudely than necessary. Don’t jump on me for being sexist, but society tends to fall into the same rut. Blue means boy, pink means girl. And honestly, when babies are fresh out of the womb, they all look the same. You see the little feet and toes, the little hands and fingers and that’s that. It’s also making me more feminine. I’ve been buying more cute clothes for myself. Mostly because the stuff is comfortable but also because I want to have the cute little mommy and daughter girly outfits. It is what it is. It’s my first child, my first girl. A little me. I’m enjoying it as much as I can.

Other than that, work is cool. School is decent. Grades are good, things are being done on time. Hope everyone else is having a good 2019. 🙂

Telling Time

There aren’t enough hours in the day, but yet time seems to drag on. You look back and wonder where the time went while simultaneously counting the seconds to the next event, day, hour.
I wasn’t planning on stepping away from my site for as long as I did. Between waiting patiently for my little peanut to grow, to wishing the days away until the house was completed, many things got pushed to the side. That said, I have returned with a newfound sense of patience and understanding that time passes just as it should.

Yesterday I had my anatomy scan for the little one. I found out a couple weeks ago, from the blood test, that I’m having a little girl. The ultrasound yesterday confirmed such. She also has all her fingers and toes, a nicely forming heart, all her facial features, and so on. It appears as though her and our home are progressing hand in hand. The nursery is now painted, several outfits picked out, registry completed, baby “shower” planned, and almost all the family has been told.

I’m terrified of telling my grandpa. He raised me most of my life. I’m not worried that he’ll be angry or disappointed, just that he might make me feel as though I’m not ready. Honestly, I’m not ready. I don’t think anyone is ready to have their first child. You can visualize other people taking care of their children, read books about it, get advice on it, but still have absolutely no idea the full effect it will have on your life. I guess I just want him to be happy for me, not concerned, though any parent probably feels concern when hearing news like this. I’m thinking of writing him an e-mail, or telling my great-grandma and hoping somehow she passes the news along, but I feel like that’s the coward’s way out and he deserves to hear it from me.

School is school. I’m working on a research paper right now about henna tattoos and their place in different cultures. That should be fun. I have a busy couple months ahead of me, but I hope to write about it much more often. (:

TGIT

Thank God It’s Thursday!!! The spring half of most shows start this week, or next. The Blacklist started again, Grey’s Anatomy and How to Get Away With Murder came back on tonight, The Good Doctor comes back next Monday… and I’m sure there are more shows that I watch starting up again that are evading me.
Quick note, Grey’s Anatomy just seemed strange. It’s so different than what it was in the beginning. I’ve watched form the beginning and it’s becoming a bit more soap opera and less medical drama. The episode tonight opened up in the storm, just as the fall finale had finished off. Teddy and Amelia had some going back and forth over her being pregnant and Amelia blames herself for it all because she was initially the one who had told Owen to go to Germany to see her. Still, it was so messed up for him to have sex with her and Teddy is just stupid if she thought coming back and telling Owen that she was having his child wasn’t going to cause any problems. Deluca almost kissed Meredith, but didn’t. However, there was a very interesting moment when they were stuck in an elevator speaking Italian, a language of love. Other things happened too, but nothing I really care about. HTGAWM seems decent so far, but per usual, the story line jumps back and forth so much and doesn’t move along quickly enough for me. The Blacklist is still great, and I won’t have an opinion on The Good Doctor until next week.


The house hasn’t really seen any progress. The tile on the master bath floor isn’t sticking right so that’s probably going to have to be redone. We did a little bit of painting today. I touched up some areas that had been messed up during the bathroom demolition. Hubby took out the shelf that was in the closet and painted the rest of it. We’re going to build our own little set up in there that will work best for us. I cannot wait for everything in the living room to be completed so my desk can be built and installed, as well as our full wall, floor to ceiling bookshelves and entertainment center. Big things will be coming to our home.


Class is going fine. I took the past couple days off reading for it. I got so engrossed in the novel I started the other night, Origin by Dan Brown. I’ve read a couple of his books and absolutely loved every single one of them. His writing really has a way of making you think, think really deeply about a variety of things. Also, yesterday was Mark’s only day off so we spent the day together and did some shopping for the house. I’ve had some interviews here and there for different part time positions. I’ve begun volunteering at a local shelter as a way to get me out of the house and busy. It’s also nice to be contributing to the community, even if it is in a small way. And it gets me away from the textbooks and computer for a while.


Baby news: I’ll be 14 weeks on Sunday. Woohoo. It’s sometimes debated whether the second trimester begins with the 13th or 14th week, but either way, I’ll be there come Sunday. Found out I have a UTI so I’ve been taking medication for that the past couple days. I wonder if that was why sex had felt so uncomfortable the past week or so. I had absolutely no other symptoms. They’re really common during pregnancy, but it’s strange how it’s so different than getting a UTI when not pregnant.

Well, I’m going to get a snack and watch the rest of my show. Have a good weekend everyone!! (:

International Studies…

This semester one of my classes is International Studies. I was planning on working full time, but things changed when I found out I was pregnant. However, I had already enrolled in and paid for the online version of this class. The semester started last Monday, but students had access to the class the weekend before. Something I noticed when I was looking throughout the syllabus and modules was there were only three assignments with due dates. Not for the first week, or the first month, but for the entire class, there were only three assignments. Turns out, the professor doesn’t believe in exams, and all the reading and discussion posts are self-paced as long as they are completed before the last week of class, which would be the last week of April.

At first it threw me off because I need deadlines to make things happen sometimes. If it’s a boring class or topic, I have the hardest time writing papers or anything. The only thing that inspires me is the pressure of time. With this class, if I were to procrastinate until the last minute, there would be no way I would get the assignments done in time. I can write a 6 page paper in two hours but there’s no way I’d be able to read and write a discussion post for almost 500 pages in two hours. Nope.

I had to figure out a different way to get this done. Another aspect of this class is that the professor has the reading assignments spaced out in a way that we’re constantly jumping back and forth and reading less than half the chapters. I love other cultures and peoples and traditions so I want to read the whole thing. I’ve decided to read a chapter a day. There’s 38 chapters, so even if I take a day off or can’t get through an especially boring chapter all at once, I’ll still be done in two months tops, with 2 months to spare. (:

Wish me luck guys. (:

Moving Along

Well to mark my 13 weeks, the master bathroom is a vanity, toilet, mirror, light, and shower head away from being completed. We aren’t sure what colors to paint it yet, but it’ll probably include the blue from the accent wall in the master bedroom.

When you see the tile in the pictures, what do you think would work with it? I don’t really want more grey on the walls in there and I don’t want a dark bathroom either. The vanity is going to be white. Any ideas?

Also, remember when the plumbers came at the beginning of this week and cut up my pretty, beautiful walls to fix the pipes? Well, the drywall guy came and filled all that in and made it pretty again. I finally got the repainting done and it’s dried. Things are coming together, slowly, but definitely coming together.

Not reno-related, but the new book I’ve started is Origin by Dan Brown.

Hope everyone is having a lovely new year (: